Help Wanted: A Witness

In Revelation 11 we read about the Two Witnesses.




I wonder....hmmmm............................................................................

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I wonder if God is accepting applications for one of these 2 positions? I could do this job. I would love the benefits.



The Bible says that if any one tries to stop them when they preach, fire comes out of their mouths and devours that person.



This could come in handy.

“Preacher, we wish you wouldn’t preach past 12 o’clock.” Psssssst.

“Preacher, we can’t find any one to teach the seventh grade boys class.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, what in the world were you thinking preaching on tithing? Talking money and sin from the pulpit is a sure-fired way of running people off.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, I make a motion that we paint the baptistery purple & orange with a Tiger Paw in the front.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, the Constitution and By-law says tha” Psssssst.


Also, the Bible says that they could keep it from raining for as long as they wanted. They could turn the water into blood. And, they could cause plagues to strike the earth as often as they want.


Well, maybe I’d better leave this to the experts. I wouldn’t want to accidently start a swine flu epidemic because I overheard someone gossiping in the church parking lot about a fellow member.