Showing posts with label Georgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Georgia. Show all posts

Thursday, July 3, 2014

A Biblio-centric View of College Football in the South

July in the South means one thing...College Football starts in less than 2 month! (April means football starts in 5 months. May: 4 months. You get the point.)


So it is in just a few weeks now. Cancel your Lifetime subscription, ladies. You won't be watching any Meridith Baxter Burney marathons for a few months. Church will drastically change in both temperament and color variation, as clashing team colors are proudly displayed. Sunday school classes are taken over by discussions of the Coach's Poll (OSU pre season #1? Seriously!?) and the etiquette of eating candy corn and peanuts is heatedly debated. (Pick out the Indian Corn, or just grab a handful?)

As a dutiful shepherd and pastor of the flock, here are ten tips for getting things right this season.

1) When your biggest rival loses, only taunt their fans outside of the sanctuary.

2) Remember this; God's TV room is painted Red and Black.

3) While it may not be a sin to wear Orange to church, it is a transgression.

4) "Sanford Stadium" in the original Greek, means, "The Place Where God's Glory Dwells" (κατοικεί δόξα)


5) The Faithful will all ways pull against their in-state rival, despite what the False Prophet of the Play-Off-System saith.

6) Our mascot is cuter than your mascot.



7) Notre Dame will always be ranked pre-season, despite the inability to win against ranked opponents. They are the Cotton Candy of College Football. Lots of size, not much substance. A lot of taste at first, then it melts away when any real contact is made. Give-me-a-break.

8) Pastors do a lot more "sermon prep" on Saturday's in the Fall. As in, "I can't make it to the Chairman of the Deacons funeral this Saturday, I.. uh..need to..uh...do sermon prep."


9) Buy soft things that can be used as projectiles and thrown at the TV. And if you live in a parsonage, for the love of all that is holy, sound proof the TV room.

10) Enjoy College football. It is one of the most relaxing, de-stressing, and morally sound things I know! :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

In Other News:

.

ABBA as Anti-Christ

So ABBA is the Anti-Christ. Or maybe just the False Prophet. Ehh??   You decide.

Bjoern Ulvaeus spelled backwards is Sueavlu Nreojb. Which I’m pretty sure is Swedish for Six hundred sixty-six. A little known fact. (Or it could mean Swedish Fish. It's hard to translate.) However, the Book of 2 Opinions 12:74 says that the Antichrist will be a Nordic singer that will promote a cashless society.

?




Shoeless Joe Bidden sticks foot in mouth...again

So the Veep told a pro-Obama crowd at a fund raiser that the Bin Laden raid was the greatest military gamble in over five centuries! Really, Joe? Said the VP, “You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan. Never knowing for certain. We never had more than a 48 percent probability that he was there. Do any one of you have a doubt that if that raid failed that this guy would be a one-term president?”

*****sigh***** Mr Vice President…I don’t have to go back 500 years. I don’t even have to go back 70 years. I suggest, Joe, that you Google the date June 6, 1944.

In the words of Gordon Ramsey, "You donkey! Hang your head in shame."


Lawyers fired for wearing orange

And I thought it was just me. Kudos to the executive at that law firm for firing these 14 minions for wearing orange to work. It is a blasphemous, devilish color. Everyone knows that Red and Black are God’s colors; holy and true. Orange? Satanic. The followings photographs give evidence to such reasoning.

Holy interstate caution sign, Batman.

 No subtitles needed.
Ellie Mea Clampett? Well, she was from the hills of Tennessee.



 Oh, wait. I said Orange clothes...not orange people. Did Anne Hathaway get a part as a giant Oompa Loompa?



Like I said, blasphemy.

 Except, that's a white shirt. Auburn, Florida, Tennessee, Clemson? Do they have degrees in color management? I think not.

And my favorite...












Greyhound tickets to Atlanta...$98
Day spent at Sue Billie's Hair Emporium...$98
12 hot dogs, four Cokes, and a pretzel...$98
#98, pansy orange XXXL windbreaker...$98
Realizing how awful orange looks on television...Priceless

 Now here is something to sing about!





 Glory, glory, to Old Georgia!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Quick Update

.


It's been an interesting few weeks. Here are some quick updates:





Passed 14k visitors about 2 weeks ago. Thanks again for bothering to read. Many, many folks are still reading the book review on Heaven Is For Real. Go figure.





Great couple of weeks at church. The Adversary is sniffing around BDBC again, but that's OK. It just means that God is moving also.





Start classes again this week. That break was waaaaay to short, but it's the price to pay for those two little letters. d. r. It's funny because there is no way I would ever want to be called anything but "Preacher" or just "Steve". The High Potentate, Doctor Reverend, Exalted Pastor Leigh is a little over the top. I didn't like "Brother Steve" in KY and didn't care much for "Preacher" when I moved here. But Preacher has grown on me. Especially when the kids call me that. "Hey Pweacher." "Good moaning, Pweacher." too cute. Or Maddie (5 years old), who like me loves Cracker Barrel brand cheese. I gave her some one day on a youth trip and now she always asks her mom for "Preacher Cheese." hmm, now that I think about it, I wonder if she wants extra sharp cheddar or more of my jokes.






Patty is pursuing her EdS, so add that to the Lupus, work, and mom duties. I am praying that she can handle it without getting too stressed.





Georgia football is back. Need I say more. The only thing more embarrassing than that game against Boise would be the Power Ranger uniforms. I am a traditionalist. I did/do like the black unies, for special occasion only, and the new helmets were tre' cool, but please Coach, never. ever. EVER! wear those red pajama pants again!






Thursday, July 7, 2011

.



1 month, 28 days, 11 hours and 15 seconds!

Not that I'm counting or anything!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Greatest Steve Spurrier Joke Ever

.


Steve Spurrier gets an invite to the SEC Quarterback's Conference in Atlanta and takes Stephen Garcia with him. While he’s there milling around, he runs into Mark Richt. Steve says, “Hey, Coach. Tell me something. How is it you guys at Georgia always end up with great QB’s? I can’t buy myself a decent thrower.” Richt says, “Hold on minute, Steve. Hey Aaron! Come here for a minute.” Aaron Murray trots over and Richt says, “Aaron. Who is your father’s brother’s nephew?” Without missing a beat, Murray snaps, “Why that’d be me, Coach.” Richt thanks the boy a sends him on his way. He then says to Spurrier, “It’s all about finding the smart ones. A smart qb equals a smart offence.” Steve thanks Richt and walks off.

He soon sees Garcia hanging out with Greg McElroy and calls his qb over. “Stephen, I want you to tell me as quick as you can, who is your father’s brother’s nephew?” Garcia says, “Uhh…Can I get back to you on that coach?” Spurrier slams his visor to the ground and yells at Garcia, “Well make it quick!” Garcia jogs over to McElroy and the ‘Bama qb says, “What was that all about?!” Garcia says, “He wants to know who my father’s brother’s nephew is.” “Oh, that old trick? That’s easy. The answer is, 'It’s me.'” Garcia thanks his friend and runs back to Spurrier. “Well!?” spewed the Old Ball Coach. Garcia says, “I figured it out coach! My father’s brother’s nephew is Greg McElroy!” Spurrier looses it! He turns red, throws his visor, puffs his cheeks, kicks at the air, and then sighs, and says to Garcia, “No…no..no you idiot! It’s Aaron Murray!

The Second Greatest Steve Spurrier Joke Ever

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The NFL Draft

.
You know a sport is popular when their television show of the transition of armature athletes to professional athletes has more viewers than another sports actual games. Such is football these days, when more people watch the draft than a MLB game.


Some quick notes through the third round. (These are antidotal, and in no way statistically viable. I din't have time to run any standard deviation analyses in all my spare time.)

Looks like Miami has had a big draft so far, with five players taken in those opening rounds. Alabama is my big winner, though, having four go in rounds 1-3, but THREE of those in round one alone! Including Julio Jones to the Falcons. (Darn you Bengals. You could have had Jones two picks earlier and left AJ Green for us.) LSU and North Carolina also had four.

Speaking of which...apparently in the football world the proverb about bad guys finishing last doesn't hold water. UNC had four of its players go after the rules violations they had, AJ Green went #4 overall, and Cam Newton was the Top Pick. This only goes to show that the Universities are the only ones being hurt by the NCAA and their foolish, out-of-date rules. It's time to let colleges pay players a stipend that is fair and equitable. i.e. ALL players get the same money, regardless of team size, player ability, or supposed value to the team. The colleges rake in millions every year from these sports programs, and kids are selling their jerseys to go eat pizza. It doesn't add up, especially when the colleges are left to clean up their mess while the kids are signing huge bonuses with the NFL.



One last thing. Georgia had three go in the first three rounds. AJ to the Bengals at #4. Justin Huston to the Chiefs (Yeah, Dan!) at #70, and Akeem Dent to the Falcons at #91.

What about the Sons of Perdition you ask? Well, speaking of bad guys coming in last....Georgia Tech has had zero players drafted. Bwahahahahahahaha. What a rambling wreck.

Go Dawgs! Beat Tech!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Where Ever Is Heard An Encouraging Word

So it's baseball season again!? Wow! South Carolina is the reigning National Champions in baseball, so living around here these days there is a lot of focus on baseball. And rightfully so. I mean, they can't win in football...sooooo. (Ha! That's for all the glee I heard recently on the patently false rumors about our QB Aaron Murray's "broken" ankle!)




Actually, those two things got me thinking. About baseball and encouragement (versus football and discouragement, I suppose! Ehh. Only 5 month, 4days, and 12 hours till kick off. UGA vs Boise State. ****sigh*** Georgia Football, where these days Never Is Heard An Encouraging Word!) But I digress. I WAS talking about baseball. And encouragement. Which reminds me of a story about Willie Mays.



Willie Mays began his major league baseball career with only one hit in his first 26 at-bats. Though he went on to hit 660 home runs, and steal more than 300 bases, his debut was so unimpressive it seemed unlikely he would last more than a few weeks in the big-leagues, let alone become one of the greatest to play the game. The turning point for Mays occurred when his manager, Leo Durocher, found him crying in the dugout after yet another miserable performance at the plate. The coach put his arm around Mays and said, "What's the matter, son?" Mays said, "I can't hit up here. I belong in the minor leagues." Durocher said this to Willie Mays: "As long as I'm manager of the Giants, you'll be my centerfielder." Durocher simply said, "I know that you can make it."



Is there someone in your life who needs your vote of confidence? Someone who's ready to give up? Someone who no longer believes in their ability to do what God has called them to do? You have the opportunity to lift them up. Your words — your confidence — can help get them back on track. Paul said, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are in fact doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11 )





Take a look around you today. Somewhere near you there may be a future Hall-of-Famer who needs a good word from you. Give them some encouragement. Build them up. Be a positive influence. It will go along way toward helping them...and you!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

AP Top 25

.


Woo Who! We topped Oregon State and West Virginia! But, Boise State #3? What state are they in again?... Iowa, right?  Uh? Idaho. No, I said what STATE, not what city. Hmmm? Idaho IS a state?!?! Oh.

I see they got one first place vote. The sports writer from the Statesman no doubt. Yeah, they only play one game this year, boys. Go VA Tech!




AP Top 25
1 Alabama (54)
2 Ohio State (3)
3 Boise State (1)
4 Florida
5 Texas (1)
6 TCU
7 Oklahoma (1)
8 Nebraska
9 Iowa
10 Virginia Tech
11 Oregon
12 Wisconsin
13 Miami (FL)
14 USC
15 Pittsburgh
16 Georgia Tech
17 Arkansas
18 North Carolina
19 Penn State
20 Florida State
21 LSU
22 Auburn
23 Georgia
24 Oregon State
25 West Virginia

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Preseason USA Today Coaches' Poll

.

1 Alabama (55) 0-0 1469

2 Ohio State (4) 0-0 1392

3 Florida 0-0 1245

4 Texas 0-0 1240

5 Boise State 0-0 1215

6 Virginia Tech 0-0 1052

7 TCU 0-0 1051

8 Oklahoma 0-0 1035

9 Nebraska 0-0 1001

10 Iowa 0-0 952

11 Oregon 0-0 940

12 Wisconsin 0-0 778

13 Miami (FL) 0-0 728

14 Penn State 0-0 508

15 Pittsburgh 0-0 492

16 LSU 0-0 476

17 Georgia Tech 0-0 455

18 North Carolina 0-0 445

19 Arkansas 0-0 438

20 Florida State 0-0 374

21 Georgia 0-0 312

22 Oregon State 0-0 263

23 Auburn 0-0 260

24 Utah 0-0 169

24 West Virginia 0-0 169



Well, being 21 is better than no ranking at all. Umm, South Carolina? Hello? And honestly, who in their right mind put Boise State # 5. Their first game is v Va Tech. Go Hokies! If they don't win, Boise will most likely play for the National Title having played one game and 11 scrimmages.

One last rant. Ohio State? What 4 morons put the Buckeyes #1? May I remind you that Ohio State has NEVER beaten a SEC team? Pluuzeese! Win a bowl game for Tressle's sake, and then come talk to me about a national ranking.

And of course, I refuse to discuss the team ranked #17. May Athlete's Foot plague their locker room.

Can't hardly wait for September 4 at 12:21 pm. How 'bout them Dawgs!


Friday, July 2, 2010

American SoccerBall


My son loves soccer, and he's pretty good at it, too. I love football, and while I played High School ball, I'm more adept at coaching than playing. I'm quite certain that if, IF, I were the head ballcoach at UGA, we would never lose a game. Every touchdown is a direct result of a play that I would have called, and every fumble is caused by an idiot I would have never allowed on my team in the first place. Every assistant coach would be a world class instructor and work for the same under-valued-salary that most pastors earn. It would be one heck of a show!



So I am confident in my worldview of football. But admittedly a little lost in my son's world of soccerball. I am also know for my vast array of trivial knowledge. My ability to talk small is staggering. I can usually answer facts on dates, history, and especially etymology. One elusive bit of trivia that I did not know; however, was the etymological roots of the word soccer. Why do we call it soccer here, and the rest of the world screw it up and call it football there? Everybody knows that football is played with both hands and feet! Well, I recently read an article about the origins of why soccer is incorrectly called football by every other tribe, nation, or tongue.



According to Clive Toye, the man who started American Soccer and brought Pele to the US, the word Soccer has British roots.




“Soccer is a synonym for football,” said Toye, who helped launch the North American Soccer League in the late 1960s. “And it has been used as such for more years than I can count. When I was a kid in England and grabbed a ball to go out and play … I would just as easily have said: ‘Let’s have a game of soccer’ as I would use the word ‘football’ instead. And I didn’t start it.”


To trace the origin of “soccer” we must go all the way back to 1863, and a meeting of gentlemen at a London pub, who congregated with the purpose of standardizing the rules of “football,” which was in its infant years as an organized sport but was growing rapidly in popularity.


Those assembled became the founding members of the Football Association (which still oversees the game in England to this day). And they decided to call their code Association Football, to differentiate it from Rugby Football.


A quirk of British culture is the permanent need to familiarize names by shortening them. “My friend Brian Johnston was Johnners,” said Toye. “They took the third, fourth and fifth letters of Association and called it SOCcer. So there you are.”



So there you are indeed. Good show, old boy. I know a little more about soccer. Even if it's not what causes an off-side penalty in soccer. I mean, how can your guy... be standing near MY goal...and I'm the one off sides!? Geesh!



*******sigh********** Maybe I'll just stick with football

Monday, June 21, 2010

And Now For Something Completely Different

Let's move from the world of Spiritual things, for just a moment, and talk about things of eternal importance...quarterbacks.











Aaron Murray is our # 1; part-time wide receiver/part-time QB Logan Gray is our # 2; and true freshman Hutson Mason is our # 3. Zach Mettenberger is gone, bye-bye baby, having been summarily dismissed by Mark Richt. (And also banished from Valdosta, indefinitely! Go figure.) Joe Cox is gone, having graduated.............................................................................Sorry. I had to take time out to sing The Doxology.

So our entire future depends upon a Red Shirt, a part-timer, and a true Freshman. Combined, our QB Corps had thrown exactly 11 passes in NCAA Div 1 play, all by the wide receiver in the group. But that's not the worst news! Our # 1 is, well, injury prone. (Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't let Urban hear you.) Too late. He's laughing hard enough to cause another heart arrhythmia. Apparently Florida was in a recruiting battle with us over this guy. He is a red shirt, remember. Yeah, well he missed 4 weeks of practice with tricep tendentious. Tricep tendentious!? Dear-Lord-In-Heaven. He is now working on "shoulder maintenance." Yeah, that's reassuring. He was highly recruited after passing for 51 TD's and throwing for over 4k yards in his junior year and leading the team to the Florida State Championship his senior year. He also suffered from a broken fibula and a dislocated ankle. And he's a.... no OUR.... starting QB, and IN THE SEC no less. A dislocated ankle? Come on. Tape that rascal up. Tricep tendentious? Seriously. Rub some dirt on it. A broken fibula? OK, I can see that. But geesh. I can clearly see a serious case of turf toe in this young mans future.



Uhhhmm. Logan. Honey. Don't spend as much time learning to run the routes as you do learning to throw them.

A long season ahead? ****sigh***** Perhaps I was put on this earth to suffer.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

How 'Bout Them Dawgs!

So I know this may seem cheesy and all, but as I was walking from the convention center to the hotel, I get a "How 'bout them dawgs!"




(Now, for those of you with the misfortune of not being born in Georgia, that is like our universal aloha. It works coming or going.)



I had on one of my ubiquitous GA golf shirts, and had received the haling many, many times though out the convention. Currently, I had snagged about two dozen copies of SBC Life for some of my congregants, and was struggling with the load, notebook, Bible, etc. Without even looking up I said back, Aloha (translated into Georgian: "How 'bout them Dawgs?") Please do not miss the suttle variations in diction and tone. And drawl.


I saw a blue suited man walk by out of the corner of my eye, (mind you this is all in the time it takes to have this two sentence conversation) and realize "I recognize that voice." It was James Merritt. Now I listen to him quite a bit on the radio and catch him when I can on TV. What I like best about James is his unabashed loyalty to God's Team.



So I turned and said "Mr. Merritt." Not Dr., not James, not Brother. Nope MR Merritt. I am not sure where that came from. We laughed about it. He told me to call him James, and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the Promised Land. Good times.



Oh, by the way...How 'bout them Dawgs!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009