Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Invisible Rapture


Harold Camping didn't get it wrong. Don't believe it? Just ask him, he'll tell you. He now says that the end of the world will be October 21, 2011. He claims that the church was “invisibly raptured.” I guess that I must be invisibly writing this blog post. And many of you invisibly reading it.

It’s pretty cool actually. I have wanted to be invisible ever since I read H. G. Wells’ The Invisible Man when I was in fifth grade. Well, back THEN I thought it would be cool. You could go the store and not pay. No one would call you fat. You could go to which ever head wasn’t busy. (Yes. I called it a head when I was in fifth grade. Probably since I was five. Navy family, you know.)

Now that I think about it as an adult, though, maybe it’s not so cool. Should I preach Sunday morning? An invisible preacher-- preaching to an invisible crowd? Talk about apoplexy! How would I know how many people showed up? The first thing I do on Sunday morning is count. I do that even before I pray. All preachers count. Trust me. You can spot us at football games trying to count the number of people in the other set of stands. (Ministerially speaking, we were just shy of five hundred and two. We actual had two hundred and five, and that IS less than five hundred after all.) Now; however, thinking about going to the women’s head is just creepy and kind of disturbing.

So, I’ll be glad when Jesus comes back on October 21 and we can be seen again and…huh? What’s that? Oh!?       Jesus came back invisibly!       I see.

Hmph. So much for five hundred in church this Sunday.

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