Help Wanted: A Witness

In Revelation 11 we read about the Two Witnesses.




I wonder....hmmmm............................................................................

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I wonder if God is accepting applications for one of these 2 positions? I could do this job. I would love the benefits.



The Bible says that if any one tries to stop them when they preach, fire comes out of their mouths and devours that person.



This could come in handy.

“Preacher, we wish you wouldn’t preach past 12 o’clock.” Psssssst.

“Preacher, we can’t find any one to teach the seventh grade boys class.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, what in the world were you thinking preaching on tithing? Talking money and sin from the pulpit is a sure-fired way of running people off.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, I make a motion that we paint the baptistery purple & orange with a Tiger Paw in the front.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, the Constitution and By-law says tha” Psssssst.


Also, the Bible says that they could keep it from raining for as long as they wanted. They could turn the water into blood. And, they could cause plagues to strike the earth as often as they want.


Well, maybe I’d better leave this to the experts. I wouldn’t want to accidently start a swine flu epidemic because I overheard someone gossiping in the church parking lot about a fellow member.

The Two Witnesses

In Revelation 11 we read about the Two Witnesses.

I wonder....hmmmm...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder if God is accepting applications for one of these 2 positions? I could do this job. I would love the benefits.


The Bible says that if any one tries to stop them when they preach, fire comes out of their mouths and devours that person.


This could come in handy.
“Preacher, we wish you wouldn’t preach past 12 o’clock.” Psssssst.
“Preacher, we can’t find any one to teach the seventh grade boys class.” Psssssst.“Preacher, what in the world were you thinking preaching on tithing? Talking money and sin from the pulpit is a sure-fired way of running people off.” Psssssst.“Preacher, I make a motion that we paint the baptistery purple & orange with a Tiger Paw in the front.” Psssssst.“Preacher, the Constitution and By-law says tha” Psssssst.

Also, the Bible says that they could keep it from raining for as long as they wanted. They could turn the water into blood. And, they could cause plagues to strike the earth as often as they want.


Well, maybe I’d better leave this to the experts. I wouldn’t want to accidently start a swine flu epidemic because I overheard someone gossiping about a fellow church member.

Nothing To Write About

Another Sunday, come and gone. I started A Jet Tour of Revelation tonight. Must have been an anticipated study, our attendance was waaay up. Got to love that.

I must say though, Daniel and Revelation have not moved as easily from sermon to post as I originally thought. Plus, there were a myriad...make that a blizzard, of, “That’s uhm...pretty...uhm...boring. Really. Love ya, though. I mean, you’re a nice guy and all. Very pastoral, quite a handsome devil...in a Dom Deluise kinda way. But the Eschatological Musings post??? What up? I mean, dude!?” comments.

OK. OK. It doesn’t translate. I’m still a fine Bible expositor, I’ll have you know. It just carries better in person. I’ll let you know next Sunday night if the crowd grew or shrank. That’ll tell a lot.

So. That leaves me with nothing to write about.






















Except this one small thing I’ll say about Revelation, then I’m out of here.

The book of Revelation is divided into five parts, or five extended visions.
In Chapter 1 we see The Vision of Christ. (That's what it's all about)
In Chapters 2-3, we have The Vision of the Churches. (I may actually post about these seven churches in detail as the narrative and historical context are quite fascinating.)
From Chapter 4-18 we have The Vision of the Condemnation. (I may have to blog about the significance of the number 7 in numerology and eschatology. Oh, and the 4 Horsemen. And the Two Witnesses. And the Beast. And the Harlot that rides on the Dragon. It would be inconceivable to not go there.)
Chapter 19-20 is The Vision of the Coming King. (My favorite part. Jesus on a White Horse. That's good stuff!)
And it rounds out with Chapters 21&22 The Vision of the Celestial City. (i.e. Home Sweet Home)

Well, I could go on and on. But for now, I say: Farwell.