A Biblio-centric View of College Football in the South

July in the South means one thing...College Football starts in less than 2 month! (April means football starts in 5 months. May: 4 months. You get the point.)


So it is in just a few weeks now. Cancel your Lifetime subscription, ladies. You won't be watching any Meridith Baxter Burney marathons for a few months. Church will drastically change in both temperament and color variation, as clashing team colors are proudly displayed. Sunday school classes are taken over by discussions of the Coach's Poll (OSU pre season #1? Seriously!?) and the etiquette of eating candy corn and peanuts is heatedly debated. (Pick out the Indian Corn, or just grab a handful?)

As a dutiful shepherd and pastor of the flock, here are ten tips for getting things right this season.

1) When your biggest rival loses, only taunt their fans outside of the sanctuary.

2) Remember this; God's TV room is painted Red and Black.

3) While it may not be a sin to wear Orange to church, it is a transgression.

4) "Sanford Stadium" in the original Greek, means, "The Place Where God's Glory Dwells" (κατοικεί δόξα)


5) The Faithful will all ways pull against their in-state rival, despite what the False Prophet of the Play-Off-System saith.

6) Our mascot is cuter than your mascot.



7) Notre Dame will always be ranked pre-season, despite the inability to win against ranked opponents. They are the Cotton Candy of College Football. Lots of size, not much substance. A lot of taste at first, then it melts away when any real contact is made. Give-me-a-break.

8) Pastors do a lot more "sermon prep" on Saturday's in the Fall. As in, "I can't make it to the Chairman of the Deacons funeral this Saturday, I.. uh..need to..uh...do sermon prep."


9) Buy soft things that can be used as projectiles and thrown at the TV. And if you live in a parsonage, for the love of all that is holy, sound proof the TV room.

10) Enjoy College football. It is one of the most relaxing, de-stressing, and morally sound things I know! :)

May Day

Today is Wednesday, May 1st.


Know what that means?















16 weeks till kick-off!

How 'bout them Dawgs!?!?!?!?!?!

Priceless

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Just when things look the darkest, God send a little mercy drop of laughter to brighten your day.

Going into this weekend's game against SC, I needed this.

Thanks, Steveo.

The Second Greatest Steve Spurrier Joke Ever

Steve Spurrier comes into the locker room before practice and says to his star receiver, "You’re failing math. If you don’t want to become academically ineligible you’ll have to answer these math questions correctly."

The star receiver agrees and Spurrier asks him "What does 4 plus 4 equal?”
"Eleven” says the athlete. The rest of the team pleads, “give him another chance! give him another chance!”
Spurrier then asks, "What does 2 plus 2 equal?" and the receiver says "Four". The rest of the team yells give him another chance! give him another chance!”

Go You Silver Britches!

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4 days, 10 hours and thirty-five minutes!

How 'bout them dawgs!?

Boise State And Underwhelming Football

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So there has been much discussion about the UGA v Boise State game. No doubt BSU has a great team. I would never consider them overrated; I learned that lesson watching the Football Kick-Off Classic last year. (You know the old joke about a Hookie being a castrated rooster???) The problem that Boise State fans don’t seem to get is that their team may be good, but their competition is not. All this talk about a BCS Championship game appearance is way over the top. Let’s say for arguments sake that BSU defeats UGA. All we will hear from Boise fans will be how they beat a SEC team and how that validates their contention for a BCS birth. But they should not get ahead of themselves.




First of all, as a lifelong, died in the wool, red-blooded, silver britches wearing, Bulldawg fan; let me be the one who says that UGA is not a stand-out SEC team this year (or for the last several, honestly.) Defeating the Bulldogs would be a good notch in their belt, but considering the SEC East Champion Gamecocks were ranked sixth in the conference, beating UGA does not equal being considered a first tier team—or deserving a BCS Championship spot.



BSU fans, it’s time to come down to earth and do a reality check. Yes, your first and last game of the season is always against a high level team and you perform admirably. The reason is because you don’t have the grueling week in and week out schedule. I know you are tied to your conference and I applaud you for scheduling anyone and everyone that will play you. But when the season is over, you will have played no ranked teams. (Maybe one…if TCU is still ranked.) South Carolina will have played five, Georgia will have played five, Alabama will have played seven, Auburn seven, and LSU seven. When Alabama and LSU play each other BSU will play UNLV. When USC plays Auburn, BSU plays Nevada. When UGA plays UF, Boise will be in a bye week coming off Air Force. And when the SEC Championship game has the two best SEC teams knocking each other off again, Boise will be starting to prep for their January bowl game.

Sorry Boise. Playing two ranked teams does not qualify you to jump a one loss SEC, PAC 12, or Big Twelve team. It just doesn’t.

What? Me Worry?

To borrow a phrase from Sheriff Buford T. Justice, “What da *Heck* is da world com’n to?!”

First, as college football season closes in, we have the bizarre new world we must contend with. A PAC 12? Or, try this one on for size, the Big Ten has 12 teams and the Big 12 has 10 teams! Reports of Clemson coming to the SEC East and Texas A&M to the SEC West!!!!

Madness! Shear madness!

OK, if that’s wasn’t bad enough, news reports are touting the possibility of Bert and Ernie getting married on Sesame Street. Sesame Workshop, the owners of the characters and show say Bert and Ernie are simply “best friends.” For now.

China has an aircraft carrier so they can spread intimidation globally and the roller coaster ride of the stock market gives new meaning to the term Scream Machine. It’s a sorry world. What’s next? Cats living with dogs, water running uphill, an honest politician?!

Well there is one thing that is sure, steady, and reliable.

The Word says,

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:2-3 (NKJV)

What!? Me worry? Nope; the Lord is my Rock!

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The Greatest Steve Spurrier Joke Ever

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Steve Spurrier gets an invite to the SEC Quarterback's Conference in Atlanta and takes Stephen Garcia with him. While he’s there milling around, he runs into Mark Richt. Steve says, “Hey, Coach. Tell me something. How is it you guys at Georgia always end up with great QB’s? I can’t buy myself a decent thrower.” Richt says, “Hold on minute, Steve. Hey Aaron! Come here for a minute.” Aaron Murray trots over and Richt says, “Aaron. Who is your father’s brother’s nephew?” Without missing a beat, Murray snaps, “Why that’d be me, Coach.” Richt thanks the boy a sends him on his way. He then says to Spurrier, “It’s all about finding the smart ones. A smart qb equals a smart offence.” Steve thanks Richt and walks off.

He soon sees Garcia hanging out with Greg McElroy and calls his qb over. “Stephen, I want you to tell me as quick as you can, who is your father’s brother’s nephew?” Garcia says, “Uhh…Can I get back to you on that coach?” Spurrier slams his visor to the ground and yells at Garcia, “Well make it quick!” Garcia jogs over to McElroy and the ‘Bama qb says, “What was that all about?!” Garcia says, “He wants to know who my father’s brother’s nephew is.” “Oh, that old trick? That’s easy. The answer is, 'It’s me.'” Garcia thanks his friend and runs back to Spurrier. “Well!?” spewed the Old Ball Coach. Garcia says, “I figured it out coach! My father’s brother’s nephew is Greg McElroy!” Spurrier looses it! He turns red, throws his visor, puffs his cheeks, kicks at the air, and then sighs, and says to Garcia, “No…no..no you idiot! It’s Aaron Murray!

The Second Greatest Steve Spurrier Joke Ever

The NFL Draft

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You know a sport is popular when their television show of the transition of armature athletes to professional athletes has more viewers than another sports actual games. Such is football these days, when more people watch the draft than a MLB game.


Some quick notes through the third round. (These are antidotal, and in no way statistically viable. I din't have time to run any standard deviation analyses in all my spare time.)

Looks like Miami has had a big draft so far, with five players taken in those opening rounds. Alabama is my big winner, though, having four go in rounds 1-3, but THREE of those in round one alone! Including Julio Jones to the Falcons. (Darn you Bengals. You could have had Jones two picks earlier and left AJ Green for us.) LSU and North Carolina also had four.

Speaking of which...apparently in the football world the proverb about bad guys finishing last doesn't hold water. UNC had four of its players go after the rules violations they had, AJ Green went #4 overall, and Cam Newton was the Top Pick. This only goes to show that the Universities are the only ones being hurt by the NCAA and their foolish, out-of-date rules. It's time to let colleges pay players a stipend that is fair and equitable. i.e. ALL players get the same money, regardless of team size, player ability, or supposed value to the team. The colleges rake in millions every year from these sports programs, and kids are selling their jerseys to go eat pizza. It doesn't add up, especially when the colleges are left to clean up their mess while the kids are signing huge bonuses with the NFL.



One last thing. Georgia had three go in the first three rounds. AJ to the Bengals at #4. Justin Huston to the Chiefs (Yeah, Dan!) at #70, and Akeem Dent to the Falcons at #91.

What about the Sons of Perdition you ask? Well, speaking of bad guys coming in last....Georgia Tech has had zero players drafted. Bwahahahahahahaha. What a rambling wreck.

Go Dawgs! Beat Tech!

Gloom, Despair, And Agony On Me

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So Saturday was not the greatest day. EVER. In The History Of Eternity And Infinity!
Whew. Glad I got that off my Chest.
So...in order to restore my Chi, I take solace from a mentor figure and fellow sojourner in misery.

"Daaaa-gum it." 

"Throw it. Throw it! You know you want too!!!!"

****Who Boy****

My sentiments, exactly, Stevie-Boy. EXACTLY!

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Friday and Saturday's in the Fall. Nothing better!

The Tyranical NCAA

The NCAA is becoming like the IRS. They are tyrants that need to be reined in. It is bad enough when they issue sanctions to schools based on players knowingly violating rules, but to access fines and penalties for what fans do is absurd!

SEC: Potential bell penalties to be assessed at Mississippi State

Quick Updates

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So when did my beloved Bulldogs become Thug U? Eight players arrested, THIS YEAR!


The Dawgs' fanbase is ranked 4th...Most Obnoxious! haha


Biblical Turbulence is coming along slowly. Patience IS a virtue, you know. Plus, I told you, good Bible study cannot be rushed.



Luke is playing in the Marching Band. That's my boy, out there!

The one in the middle.




With the trumpet.

And saxophone.



Look how "Versatile! " he is.

Look for an update from Fat Pastor soon.



Worked with a few folks writing the By Laws for a newly formed Band Booster Club at North Central High School. Thanks to Ed Stetzer for teaching that component of Urban Evangelization at Southern.





And I begin Doctoral studies at Luther Rice next week.



Other than that....life has been kinda slow.

AP Top 25

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Woo Who! We topped Oregon State and West Virginia! But, Boise State #3? What state are they in again?... Iowa, right?  Uh? Idaho. No, I said what STATE, not what city. Hmmm? Idaho IS a state?!?! Oh.

I see they got one first place vote. The sports writer from the Statesman no doubt. Yeah, they only play one game this year, boys. Go VA Tech!

AP Top 25

1 Alabama (54)

2 Ohio State (3)

3 Boise State (1)

4 Florida

5 Texas (1)

6 TCU

7 Oklahoma (1)

8 Nebraska

9 Iowa

10 Virginia Tech

11 Oregon

12 Wisconsin

13 Miami (FL)

14 USC

15 Pittsburgh

16 Georgia Tech

17 Arkansas

18 North Carolina

19 Penn State

20 Florida State

21 LSU

22 Auburn

23 Georgia

24 Oregon State

25 West Virginia

Preseason USA Today Coaches' Poll

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1 Alabama (55) 0-0 1469

2 Ohio State (4) 0-0 1392

3 Florida 0-0 1245

4 Texas 0-0 1240

5 Boise State 0-0 1215

6 Virginia Tech 0-0 1052

7 TCU 0-0 1051

8 Oklahoma 0-0 1035

9 Nebraska 0-0 1001

10 Iowa 0-0 952

11 Oregon 0-0 940

12 Wisconsin 0-0 778

13 Miami (FL) 0-0 728

14 Penn State 0-0 508

15 Pittsburgh 0-0 492

16 LSU 0-0 476

17 Georgia Tech 0-0 455

18 North Carolina 0-0 445

19 Arkansas 0-0 438

20 Florida State 0-0 374

21 Georgia 0-0 312

22 Oregon State 0-0 263

23 Auburn 0-0 260

24 Utah 0-0 169

24 West Virginia 0-0 169

Well, being 21 is better than no ranking at all. Umm, South Carolina? Hello? And honestly, who in their right mind put Boise State # 5. Their first game is v Va Tech. Go Hokies! If they don't win, Boise will most likely play for the National Title having played one game and 11 scrimmages.

One last rant. Ohio State? What 4 morons put the Buckeyes #1? May I remind you that Ohio State has NEVER beaten a SEC team? Pluuzeese! Win a bowl game for Tressle's sake, and then come talk to me about a national ranking.

And of course, I refuse to discuss the team ranked #17. May Athlete's Foot plague their locker room.

Can't hardly wait for September 4 at 12:21 pm. How 'bout them Dawgs!

American SoccerBall

My son loves soccer, and he's pretty good at it, too. I love football, and while I played High School ball, I'm more adept at coaching than playing. I'm quite certain that if, IF, I were the head ballcoach at UGA, we would never lose a game. Every touchdown is a direct result of a play that I would have called, and every fumble is caused by an idiot I would have never allowed on my team in the first place. Every assistant coach would be a world class instructor and work for the same under-valued-salary that most pastors earn. It would be one heck of a show!



So I am confident in my worldview of football. But admittedly a little lost in my son's world of soccerball. I am also know for my vast array of trivial knowledge. My ability to talk small is staggering. I can usually answer facts on dates, history, and especially etymology. One elusive bit of trivia that I did not know; however, was the etymological roots of the word soccer. Why do we call it soccer here, and the rest of the world screw it up and call it football there? Everybody knows that football is played with both hands and feet! Well, I recently read an article about the origins of why soccer is incorrectly called football by every other tribe, nation, or tongue.



According to Clive Toye, the man who started American Soccer and brought Pele to the US, the word Soccer has British roots.




“Soccer is a synonym for football,” said Toye, who helped launch the North American Soccer League in the late 1960s. “And it has been used as such for more years than I can count. When I was a kid in England and grabbed a ball to go out and play … I would just as easily have said: ‘Let’s have a game of soccer’ as I would use the word ‘football’ instead. And I didn’t start it.”


To trace the origin of “soccer” we must go all the way back to 1863, and a meeting of gentlemen at a London pub, who congregated with the purpose of standardizing the rules of “football,” which was in its infant years as an organized sport but was growing rapidly in popularity.


Those assembled became the founding members of the Football Association (which still oversees the game in England to this day). And they decided to call their code Association Football, to differentiate it from Rugby Football.


A quirk of British culture is the permanent need to familiarize names by shortening them. “My friend Brian Johnston was Johnners,” said Toye. “They took the third, fourth and fifth letters of Association and called it SOCcer. So there you are.”



So there you are indeed. Good show, old boy. I know a little more about soccer. Even if it's not what causes an off-side penalty in soccer. I mean, how can your guy... be standing near MY goal...and I'm the one off sides!? Geesh!



*******sigh********** Maybe I'll just stick with football

July 1st

Ahhhhhh. July 1st. The air is sticky and humid, and it is unbelievably hot. At least 152*.....Celsius! PTL for the invention of air conditioning.




July means ripe watermelons the size of mini-vans, kids running through sprinklers, fireworks displays, patriotism, and vacations.



It also means that kick-off to college football is in 66 days. How 'bout them dawgs!? (Living amongst the enemy is never easy, but when one of their teams wins a national title in anything, it makes it even more so. Plus this year we have a good chance of NOT beating USC in football.)



But this year, July will be dampened a bit. Please pray for my Mom and Dad. Both are in poor health. So, we will take our "vacation" and go to possibly the hottest place in the universe, in the middle of the hottest month, and see them. My mom's next Dr's appointment is July 12 at MD Anderson, where she will have a PET scan. I believe that my dad is too stubborn to get worse, but pray his heart holds out through this next few weeks of intense stress, and that we can convince him to have the angioplasty before mom's "completely well."



Hmmm. Is stubbornness hereditary?

And Now For Something Completely Different

Let's move from the world of Spiritual things, for just a moment, and talk about things of eternal importance...quarterbacks.

Aaron Murray is our # 1; part-time wide receiver/part-time QB Logan Gray is our # 2; and true freshman Hutson Mason is our # 3. Zach Mettenberger is gone, bye-bye baby, having been summarily dismissed by Mark Richt. (And also banished from Valdosta, indefinitely! Go figure.) Joe Cox is gone, having graduated.............................................................................Sorry. I had to take time out to sing The Doxology.

So our entire future depends upon a Red Shirt, a part-timer, and a true Freshman. Combined, our QB Corps had thrown exactly 11 passes in NCAA Div 1 play, all by the wide receiver in the group. But that's not the worst news! Our # 1 is, well, injury prone. (Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't let Urban hear you.) Too late. He's laughing hard enough to cause another heart arrhythmia. Apparently Florida was in a recruiting battle with us over this guy. He is a red shirt, remember. Yeah, well he missed 4 weeks of practice with tricep tendentious. Tricep tendentious!? Dear-Lord-In-Heaven. He is now working on "shoulder maintenance." Yeah, that's reassuring. He was highly recruited after passing for 51 TD's and throwing for over 4k yards in his junior year and leading the team to the Florida State Championship his senior year. He also suffered from a broken fibula and a dislocated ankle. And he's a.... no OUR.... starting QB, and IN THE SEC no less. A dislocated ankle? Come on. Tape that rascal up. Tricep tendentious? Seriously. Rub some dirt on it. A broken fibula? OK, I can see that. But geesh. I can clearly see a serious case of turf toe in this young mans future.



Uhhhmm. Logan. Honey. Don't spend as much time learning to run the routes as you do learning to throw them.

A long season ahead? ****sigh***** Perhaps I was put on this earth to suffer.

How 'Bout Them Dawgs!

So I know this may seem cheesy and all, but as I was walking from the convention center to the hotel, I get a "How 'bout them dawgs!"




(Now, for those of you with the misfortune of not being born in Georgia, that is like our universal aloha. It works coming or going.)



I had on one of my ubiquitous GA golf shirts, and had received the haling many, many times though out the convention. Currently, I had snagged about two dozen copies of SBC Life for some of my congregants, and was struggling with the load, notebook, Bible, etc. Without even looking up I said back, Aloha (translated into Georgian: "How 'bout them Dawgs?") Please do not miss the suttle variations in diction and tone. And drawl.


I saw a blue suited man walk by out of the corner of my eye, (mind you this is all in the time it takes to have this two sentence conversation) and realize "I recognize that voice." It was James Merritt. Now I listen to him quite a bit on the radio and catch him when I can on TV. What I like best about James is his unabashed loyalty to God's Team.



So I turned and said "Mr. Merritt." Not Dr., not James, not Brother. Nope MR Merritt. I am not sure where that came from. We laughed about it. He told me to call him James, and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the Promised Land. Good times.



Oh, by the way...How 'bout them Dawgs!

How 'bout Them Dawgs!